In her new co-memoir, Incomparable, Nikki Bella opens up about being raped twice as a teenager. The first instance was at the age of 15 by a fellow high school student and the second was at 16 by a college-aged man after being drugged.
She recently did an interview with People Magazine to discuss why she is just now coming out about this after so long:
“When that happened to me, I immediately just felt so ashamed and blamed myself, and that’s what made me want to keep it such a secret. And keeping that a secret and blaming myself, I started to lose my confidence. I started to disrespect myself. And then the relationships I got into at a young age, I let other people disrespect me and felt like, that’s okay, this is what I deserved.
“I was like that for a really long time. I would go to therapy on and off. Looking at it now I’m like, ‘Oh Nicole, I wish you just would’ve let go at a young age. So much would have changed for you.’ And I think that’s what made me really want to tell these stories finally.
“When the #MeToo movement happened, I was just like, ‘Oh my gosh.’ I feel like, if I’m having these younger women look up to me, maybe I can help them and have them not hold onto this as long as I did. It wasn’t until I was 28 and in a relationship where someone started to teach me how to respect myself. That’s how long I held on to things and felt I had no boundaries. And I’d always look at Brie like, ‘Oh, she has boundaries, she treats herself with such respect. How do I not have this?’ And I knew why. But I held onto it for so long. When I look back at just decisions I made based off of it, I wish I could have heard my words now as a 36-year-old woman then, and be like, ‘You’re going to be okay.'”
The memoir will be available for sale beginning May 15th, 2020 in hardcover and can be purchased on Amazon as a preorder now. It is already available as an ebook on Kindle devices and apps for $12.99.
If you or someone you know has been raped or is a victim of sexual assault, RAINN can be reached by following the link to their page for further assistance: https://www.rainn.org/